Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Barsexuality is the new black.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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