so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
