The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
