you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
