I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
