i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
