I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
