DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
