you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
