it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
