the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
