mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
