i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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