Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
