we were pretty classy up until the second keg
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
