I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize