also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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