Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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