Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize