you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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