Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
