Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my being single is dangerous.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I think my moral compass just broke
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
