Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
