I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
