Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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