never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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