That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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