She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
