Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
