Little spoons don't ask big questions
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
