People with herpes should wear stickers.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
