I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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