just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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