If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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