k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize