You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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