You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
