You smell like stripper and shame
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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