If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Randomize
