The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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