2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Randomize
