i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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