this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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