I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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