all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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