i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
