i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
They should really pass out barf bags in church
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
