no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
