yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
