I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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