the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
