hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize