If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
