Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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