I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
