That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
