question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
