and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
