Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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