ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
