Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
