just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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