Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
