it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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